Could It Be Any Worse?

Dateline – Fort Smith, AR – This is the end of what is turning out to be one of the longer weeks of the last few months. Unfortunately, that means this week was about a month long.

I am NOT having fun right now! There isn’t a thing that I am doing work wise that is even remotely fun.

I am actually at the point where I cringe when my phone rings. I try to put off answering voice mail because all it brings are problems. Which is ironic because I avoided one voice mail by not answering it at night because I didn’t want to hear another dose of bad news. Turns out, it was nothing and that has hit me like a rock.

When something goes wrong with a customer that I have worked closely with, I take it personally. In many ways, I shouldn’t because the product isn’t where it should be at this point in time. Nevertheless, it troubles me greatly as I feel it is a statement on my abilities.

Frankly, I am at a crossroads here. I am not taking solace in other co workers telling me that they were at the same point I was earlier in their career at my employer. I am not sure if it could get any lower than I am right now, but if they went through what I am enduring now, either they are crazy or I have the utmost respect for their fortitude.

I am blessed that the only thing that IS working in my life right now is my relationship with Julie. Everyday, I have come to have a new appreciation for her. There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for her. She makes everything ok. Thank you God for blessing me with her. I certainly don’t deserve her, but you have made me her cross to bear.